


Last Call

by kakera



Series: First and Last and Always [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Gift Fic, Kuroneki | Black-haired Kaneki, M/M, Prompt Fic, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-17 06:55:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4656912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kakera/pseuds/kakera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki has been avoiding Hide. Hide has figured out why, but wants to hear it from Kaneki himself--and has something to tell him in return.<br/>Touka, meanwhile, is sick of all the ignored calls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Last Call

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sazzykins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sazzykins/gifts).



> My second attempt at Tokyo Ghoul fic! (First attempt at hidekane!)
> 
> Written for that 'things you said' tumblr prompt thing (Prompt: "15. things you said with too many miles between us").
> 
> Once again, Sazzykins is to blame. Thanks dude! :D

It was a beautiful day.

The sky was clear, and bluer than Hide had ever seen. It was warm enough that he didn't need a jacket, and he'd strolled home comfortably, upbeat music blasting through his headphones.

But Hide didn't feel upbeat, and even the bluest sky in the world couldn't raise his spirits.

Sure, he could pretend to be cheerful. It was easy enough to fake happiness.

Just like it had been easy for him to smile and tease Kaneki about the pretty, long-haired girl in the cafe.

Had he known what the future held, Hide wouldn't have left Kaneki alone that day. He would have coerced Kaneki into coming with him, taken him to a quiet place, and said what he'd really intended to say when they hung out that day.

Hide had met up with Kaneki to confess, but Kaneki's behaviour had been unusual. It had taken Hide almost an hour to extract information from his friend, and discover that Kaneki's head had been turned by a young woman who read books.

When Hide set eyes upon Rize, he knew he had no chance with Kaneki. So he teased, made his excuses, and fled, his heartfelt confession trapped upon his tongue.

Hide never imagined how much would change before he next saw Kaneki.

 

Recently, Hide decided that despite what had happened, he would tell Kaneki everything the next time they met. He'd reveal the romantic urges that filled his heart whenever they were together, whenever he even thought of him. The feelings that he once saw as platonic friendship, only for them to grow stronger and deeper over time.

It hadn't taken Hide long to realise his feelings for what they were. Friends didn't kiss, after all. Nor did they wish to hold each other through the night, or grow old and happy together.

No, it hadn't taken Hide long. But confessing was another matter.

Since Kaneki's accident, it had become even harder. Kaneki was avoiding him.

Sighing, Hide flopped onto his bed and tried calling his friend. This would be his sixth attempt this afternoon.

It was a beautiful day. Hide wanted to spend it with Kaneki.

And tell him everything.

 

Kaneki was doing his best to avoid Hide. He couldn't be around him anymore, not now that he'd turned ghoul. There was no telling what might happen, especially after Nishiki's attack. Kaneki couldn't stand the thought of Hide being hurt, let alone killed and eaten. After that one moment of losing control, Kaneki knew Hide would be safer if they never met again. He could have killed his best friend.

The thought made Kaneki's heart ache.

 

Over the past few weeks, Kaneki had become increasingly good at sensing when Hide was nearby. When he heard Hide's unmistakeable footsteps on the stairs - or more frighteningly, realised he could _smell_ Hide nearby - Kaneki took refuge away from the main part of the cafe. Whether the back alley, store room, or one of the rooms above, Kaneki hid like a child, miserably lonely and desperate for Hide's company.

 

Hide had stopped dropping by Antique.

He started calling instead.

Kaneki put his phone on silent, and left it behind the counter.

 

"Oi, Kaneki. You've got twelve missed calls!" Touka shouted when Kaneki's phone rang off unanswered. The repeated vibration of it on the counter was really starting to piss her off. So was the expression of utter misery that appeared on Kaneki's face whenever he realised the phone was ringing.

"Sorry, Touka." Kaneki continued to wipe down tables, lips pursed.

Snatching up the phone, Touka was half inclined to hurl it at Kaneki's head. Instead she checked the display more closely. "All from Hide," she called out suspiciously.

"Ah." Kaneki winced, turning his head away.

Touka strode across the room and pushed the phone into Kaneki's hands eyeing him challengingly. "Call him."

"Hm..." Kaneki put a hand to his chin, averting his eyes from Touka's gaze. "Hide will be busy with homework right now, so I can't."

"Bullshit," Touka stepped in closer, eyes narrowed. "Don't make him suspect anything," she warned, voice low. "Remember what I said before. If you won't call him, I'll go put him out of his misery. Before anything else happens."

Kaneki didn't doubt her. "...I'm taking a break," he said weakly.

"Call him!" Touka jabbed at the phone, and Kaneki realised she'd pulled up Hide's number before bringing the phone over.

And she'd just hit the call button.

Kaneki almost ran into the back room.

 

Hide had given up hope of contacting Kaneki, and was on the verge of going to camp out at Antique when the phone rang. Hide's heart lurched when he saw who the caller was. He reached for the phone.

And hesitated.

What was he going to say to Kaneki? There was _so much_ to say!

How could he get onto the subject of feelings? How would Kaneki react?

Was it better to let the phone ring, to give up on his friend?

...No, of course not.

Hide answered the call, determined not to let Kaneki get off lightly for ignoring him all this time.

 

Kaneki wanted to hang up. If it went through the voice mail, he'd definitely hang up. He felt tense, afraid, pulse racing and stomach churning. What would he say to Hide? How would he explain his avoidance?

The call was answered abruptly.

"Kaneki, finally! I've really missed you, man!"

Upon hearing Hide's false-cheerful voice on the other end of the phone, Kaneki's heart broke. Hide always used that voice when he pretended to be okay.

"I-I've missed you too," he replied quietly, curling up tightly into the corner of the couch.

Hide was ready to give Kaneki an earful for not seeing him for so long, but the quiet, defeated tone in Kaneki's voice worried him. "Kaneki? What's been going on, huh?" he asked softly. Hide knew what his friend had become. But he wanted to hear it from Kaneki. "We're best friends, remember. You can tell me anything."

Kaneki cringed. No matter how much he loved Hide, he couldn't tell him this. Hide would be disgusted. Hide would hate him. Possibly even call in the CCG. Though Kaneki didn't think Hide was the kind of person to turn on a friend in that way.

"I can't--It's nothing, Hide."

" _Anything_ , Kaneki. Are you hiding from me because you're ashamed of something?" When Kaneki was silent, Hide continued. "Because if you are, don't. Nothing can turn me away from you, Kaneki. We've been friends for too long. We've grown up together. You've really come through for me in the past, and I'm trying to be there for you too. So let me support you!" Hide blinked back tears, voice becoming more passionate. "I thought we were close. We are close, aren't we? Close enough to tell each other anything? I'd tell you all my secrets, Kaneki. I..." A sigh escaped Hide's lips and he continued more calmly. "Kaneki, in all my life I've only kept one secret from you. It's-- I love you, okay? I've loved you since I don't even know when. I want to be with you. I thought you might feel a little the same way, though I guess not. Look, Kaneki, I know your life is complicated, and I don't want to pressure you. But if our friendship means anything to you, could you please tell me what's wrong? A-and if you don't want to see me anymore, please respect me enough to tell me so. Don't make me hang around waiting any longer, Kaneki. My heart can't cope anymore."

There was silence at the other end of the line, though when Hide strained his ears, he could hear Kaneki breathing shakily.

Curled tighter into his corner, Kaneki trembled, phone pressed against his ear and eye patch pushed off, tears flowing freely behind his hand. Why did this hurt so much? Now he felt even worse for Hide nearly being killed. How could he have never realised how Hide felt? How often had he talked of cute girls he'd seen, oblivious to how it must have hurt Hide? And Hide was his best friend...

Kaneki felt selfish.

He also felt more miserable than before.

Couldn't Hide have told him this ages ago? Before he'd started going to Antique, before he'd set eyes on Rize?

Things could have been so different.

Now Kaneki had an even greater reason to keep away from Hide. He had to preserve that love. Had to protect it.

"Kaneki?" Hide sighed. "I know that might have been a bit of a shock. Are you still there?"

Kaneki winced. He hadn't meant to become silent, but he didn't know what to say. It was too late to say anything. Too late to admit that he loved Hide too. It would only encourage Hide to keep pursuing him, and that wasn't safe.

Kaneki didn't want Hide to die.

So he would have to turn him away.

"I'm still here," Kaneki spoke up, swallowing his tears.

Hide frowned at the hollowness of Kaneki's voice. "Please, Kaneki... At least tell me what you phoned for."

"I was just returning your call." Kaneki's voice sounded cold now. "I don't think we should speak again."

"Kaneki, I..." Hide grimaced, eyes stinging with tears he couldn't - didn't want to - stop. "...I understand," he managed, gulping. "I'm sorry, Kaneki."

"Goodbye, Hide."

Kaneki hung up, hoping that Hide didn't notice how his voice had cracked. Bowing his head, Kaneki pressed his face into his knees to muffle his sobs.

 

Miles across the city, beneath a brilliant blue sky, Hide's world fell to pieces.

The worst thing was, he knew Kaneki had been lying.  
  


One day, maybe they'd meet again. And Hide would take Kaneki into his arms and tell him that he knew.

Today, Hide could do nothing but cry into his pillow.

**Author's Note:**

> Was this too cruel?  
> I've started a sort-of sequel, [Begin Again](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4719521), which might make up for it...Maybe.


End file.
